"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where you'll go."
It's not always easy to decide where to go. Thus, it is essential to place yourself in the strongest possible position to make decisions about where to steer yourself. You'll make better decisions if you learn as much as you can about yourself--in other words, find out what makes you tick and what makes you ticked off.
So, how do you learn what makes you tick, what your inborn preferences for functioning in the world are, what your areas of strength are and what your challenges are? We know what comes easily to us in your lives, but think about the practical benefits if we knew how to manage the many challenges that are part of our personal and our professional life.
Think about a job that requires meeting stringent deadlines on a regular basis. Some people thrive on meeting deadlines and excel in these kinds of positions. Others abhor deadlines and have great difficulty getting their work done on time. In information gathering some people prefer to think in a concrete, factual, detailed manner. Others prefer to think in abstract terms. They see possibilities and the big picture. All sorts of people from different walks of life will or might have more than one thing in common but each person is unique with individual differences that are shaped by factors such as life experience and maturation.
Your boss assigns you to work with a colleague on a project with a clear deadline. Your work history is to take your time and meet your deadlines at the very last minute; do an excellent job on your projects; consider lots of possible ways to complete a project; be spontaneous; and try to have fun while you're working. Your colleague on the other hand is very deadline oriented; also does an excellent job on projects; likes structure and knowing what to expect; and likes organized activity. Can you see the possibilities for conflict in working as a team? Even though you both do excellent work, you may perceive your colleague as very uptight, rigid and controlling. Your colleague may consider you lazy, disorganized and apt to waste time playing when you should be working. You both get the job done, but you each prefer to do it differently.
Consider this more personal situation: You and your spouse/partner have a commitment-free weekend that you want to spend together. You love being around others and are very social, so you suggest inviting friends to your home or gathering friends together to go out and do things. Your spouse/partner on the other hand is energized by being quiet and reflective, and is relishing an entire weekend of listening to music and reading. If your spouse/partner is anticipating quiet alone time, your eagerly awaited time together can lead to conflict and disappointment for both of you.
These scenarios illustrate that the key to understanding lifes theory is the awareness that the only person you can change is yourself. You empower yourself by understanding others and the way you react to them. That understanding gives you options for how you respond and thus manage yourself. In your professional life, you can't change your boss, but you can make sure you empower yourself to deal with him/her in a constructive way. In your personal life, you can choose to surround yourself with people with whom you are comfortable with. |
